Lily's Diary
by LongLiveJLPotter
Summary: Lily is starting her seventh year at Hogwarts and her mother just gave her a diary, where she's going to tell everything that's been happening in her life.
1. Introduction

Dear Diary,

My name is Lily Evans and I am about to start my seventh year at Hogwarts. I don´t really know what you should write on a diary, but my mom gave me this one because she thinks I should learn how to "express my feelings" better, and she thinks writing them down will help me on this matter. I don´t agree with her. Firstly because I do not have problems on expressing my feelings, and secondly because, if I had problems with that, writing "I love my life" or "I hate my life" every day wouldn´t help. But she´s my mom and I trust her. And also, because every day she asks me if I have already written something and I just can´t lie to her. So here I am.

I live with my parents and my sister. My parents are very nice and I get along with them very well. My dad is a bit overprotective and completely lost on everything related to the wizarding world but he tries to understand and that´s enough for me. My mom is the sweetest person in the world and she knows me more than I know myself. It´s great talking to her about Hogwarts because her sister was a witch so she knows a bit about it, and I can say more than three words without hearing a 'what?' or 'that doesn´t make any sense'.

I wish I could say all those nice things about my sister, Petunia, but I can´t. We were really close when we were young, but since I got my Hogwarts letter and she didn´t get one, she started to treat me differently, in a bad way. Now we don´t get along well, and I think that´s because I am a witch and she isn´t. But I try not to judge her for that because if I were on her shoes, I think I would´ve felt the same way and I would want to stay as far as I could from everything that belongs to this magic world, so I´d probably be the one dating Vernon today. By the way, have I mentioned him? Well, he is Petunia´s boyfriend and he is very… weird. He knows I´m a witch but he doesn´t like that at all. I think he doesn´t like it because who told him about my magical skills was my sister and she must have told him only what she thinks is good for him to know, and that means telling him that we are all freaks. But I do my best pretending he isn´t in the house and that helped me not wanting to kill myself as he spent all summer here. Seriously. I´m not kidding.

But thank God next week is September 1st and I can come back to the one place I actually feel comfortable and at home: Hogwarts. I miss that place so much… I miss my friends, studying…everything! Well, maybe not everything. I don´t miss The Marauders at all. If you are wondering who those are, well, they are the four stupid boys who don´t care about anything besides playing pranks and snogging all the girls on the planet. Actually, Remus Lupin, one of the Marauders, is very nice and he doesn´t care about these things. I don´t even know why he likes to hang out with people so different from him. But the other three boys are completely ridiculous. Sirius Black is the biggest manwhore in the history of Griffyndor and that´s all you need to know about him (see what an interesting person he is). Peter Pettigrew is weird guy. I have no idea why he is a Marauder but he gets completely amazed by anything James does and I don´t think Potter would ever dump a fan. Oh, here we are… talking about James Potter. He is the worst of all, because he doesn´t only play his stupid pranks and does the other silly things his friends do. He asks me out every single day and keeps hexing everyone that crosses his path. He is just terrible. I hate him.

I could write more, but this whole Potter thing made me sick and now all I want is some sleep.

Love always,

Lily Evans


	2. Hogwarts Express

Dear Diary,

It´s been a week since I last wrote here, but I have a great reason for taking so long: I´ve been made Head Girl! Yes! I mean, I knew I would get that because McGonagall told me on the last day of classes last term, but this is still very exciting! I am dying to know who´s going to be Head Boy because I will have to spend a lot of time with him as we are going to be having patrols every night together, and we´ll have to plan everything for the students and teach the Prefects… so I hope is someone I like! I bet is Remus, because he is very responsible and extremely intelligent, and these are qualities you don´t find in many boys at Hogwarts. I wish the rest of my week had been as exciting as this.

My mom prepared a special dinner the night I received this letter to celebrate. Petunia didn´t like it at all. When she got in the kitchen and realized that mom had prepared all the types of foods that I love and she hates, she said: 'What´s going on? And mom told her all about the letter. Petunia frowned and said: 'I´m sorry to interrupt this conversation of weirdos.' And she left. My mom went talk to her later that day about how disrespectful she was, and even thought she apologized, I know she was glad she said that, because she knows that made me sad.

The rest of the week was pretty boring and nothing very interesting happened. Until Sunday, when I received a very unexpected letter. James Potter had written to me:

_Evans,_

_I heard you were made Head Girl. Congratulations! I knew you would make it since first year, so that wasn´t such a surprise. But let´s not make less of the situation, because I know that you must be as happy as one can be and that is enough to turn this into a very special occasion. But to make it even better, I have news: I´ve been made Head Boy. Great, isn´t it? I figured that it would be better if you started getting used to have me around all the time before school starts, so this is why I´m writing to you today. I mean, we´ll have to make patrols together and organize all that stuff with the prefects. You realize that you´ll soon be the new Mrs. Potter, right? But you´re obviously so delighted right now by my news that you didn´t even noticed that sentence. This is also why I decided to write to you the good news instead of telling you on Sunday, because you can´t slap me or do anything else that would might cause me pain of any kind. And you still think I´m stupid… I can´t understand you, Evans._

_Yours,_

_James Potter_

I was really shocked at first. Like, really shocked. I´m gonna write down what were my thoughts once I ended reading this letter: "WHAT? Potter was made Head Boy? No way Dumbledore would ever do that. James is the most irresponsible-stupid prat in the entire world. He is just tricking me so I´ll write back. I know he is lying… He can only be lying… That can´t be true... It just can´t. I hate my life." I even through about writing back, telling him I did not believe that stupid lie, but then I figured out that if he really was saying the truth, then I would have way too much time to disagree and complain to him about what a git he is, so I decided not to write back. I am happy I didn´t write back, because he wasn´t lying.

Today´s morning, September 1st, I went to King Cross with mom and dad. I said goodbye to them and walked to the train. And there he was. Giggling in a corner with his friends, but once he saw me, he ran over and said: 'Evans! Have you received my letter?'

'Yes, I have.' I said while entering the train.

'Then why haven´t you answered me? That is quite impolite, you know?' He said, a smirk on his face.

'Do you want to talk about politeness? The guy who wrote a letter to a girl he doesn´t talk in months and doesn´t even ask how she is? Now, that is polite.' I said ironically. I didn´t want to keep talking to him. All I wanted was to get a compartment and read my new book. But I obviously couldn´t leave the conversation at that point, because he would win, and I couldn´t let that happen.

'She is angry before you even step in, Prongs. I think that´s a record!' said Black, his stupid friend.

'Shut up Padfoot! I heard she had a hard time on summer with her sister´s boyfriend. Let´s make it better for her, not worse.' whispered James, thinking I wasn´t listening. But I was.

'How do you know that?' I said.

'Well…' said Potter in an uncomfortable tone, as if he was embarrassed that I heard him say that.

'You were not the only person Prongs has been mailing.' said Black, cutting James, before things got even more awkward.

'What do you mean?' I said. Black was getting me on my nerves.

'I mean Prongs has been talking to your dearest friend Alice a lot lately.' Black said.

'Alice? You´ve been talking to Alice?' Alice was my best friend since first year, and I told her all about how Vernon made me want to kill myself, so it wouldn´t be completely impossible for him to know that, but still…she was my best friend and would never do that to me. I think. I hope.

'Shut up Padfoot!' James whispered again, hoping I wasn´t listening. 'Er…yeah, it´s true. I´ve been mailing Longbottom. But my will was good. See, I wanted to know how you were, and I knew that if I tried to send a letter asking, you woulnd´t´ve answered. So, I figured she could tell me.' That´s true. If he had sent me a letter asking how summer was, I would never have answered. Or maybe I would, with a Howler telling him to never mail me again.

'I don´t believe she would ever do this to me. Now stop lying, Potter! I also know very well that you were not made Head Boy. Dumbledore would never do that.' I said. There was something stuck on my mouth, like I could just punch him and Alice at that very moment.

'Oh, but I wasn´t lying about that. Actually, we were supposed to be on the Prefects compartment, weren´t we?' James said.

'What? You weren´t lying?' I said. I couldn´t believe it. Of all people in the entire world, Potter was the last one I wanted to spend 2 seconds with, imagine a whole year.

'Of course not. How could someone lie about something as important as that?' he said.

I couldn´t stand being there anymore, so I turned away and started to walk towards the Head Compartment.

But my solution was completely useless as five minutes after I entered the compartment, Potter came in saying: 'Sorry, I´m late.' He sat beside a fifth year prefect girl who looked amazed about how James-the-beautiful-Potter had chosen to sit by her side.

'You better start getting used to get on the right time as you are an example for younger students now.' I said. It made me really angry that nobody ever cared if Potter did something wrong.

'Don´t worry, Evans, I will pay more attention next time.' he said with his popular smile that all the girls at Hogwarts fell in love for. But not me. Obviously

'Good' I said. Then I made a speech to the prefects about their responsibilities and all that. But something really bugged me during the whole thing: Potter was staring at me and smiling. But not his popular smile, more like a big goofy smile.

I ignored it, because I didn´t want it to look like I cared, because I didn´t. I think. No, of course it didn´t!

Then I finished my speech and told the prefects that they could go. Potter was the first to leave. I left soon after that looking for the compartment Alice was in. I found her at the very last one in the train, which means I had to look in all the others. Including the Marauder´s one. When they saw me in front of their compartment, Sirius nodded at me and said something that I couldn´t understand as I was outside and he was inside. Remus waived his hand saying hi. Peter was looking out at the window, so he didn´t even notice me. But when James saw me, he immediately looked at the floor with the big goofy smile back on his face. I really couldn´t understand that.

I found Alice shortly after that. When I entered the compartment, she said: 'Lily, I am really sorry. I´m really really really sorry.'

'Oh, now you´re sorry. You could´ve at least told me.' I said.

'Look, you know that I´ve always been one hundred percent behind you on this whole hating-Potter thing, but he wrote to me asking how you were… Do you have any idea how many guys on earth mail the best friend of the girl they like only to know if she is all right? I´ll tell you: No guy on earth would do that besides him. Not even my boyfriend!' she said desperately.

'Are you saying you think Potter is right? Are you saying is okay for him to hex everyone that crosses his path as long as he mails you? Really, Alice?' I said.

'You know very well what I meant! Lily, Potter has really changed. ' she said.

'No, he hasn´t. Otherwise he wouldn´t have called me impolite an hour ago!' I said. I couldn´t believe Alice had changed sides. She is my best friends and I really don´t care about what she thinks! Her job is to stay on my side!

'You say that now. You´ll see, Lily. He really did change.' She said.

And with that, I sat on the other side of the compartment and we spent the rest of the trip not talking to each other.

We arrived at Hogwarts in the end of the afternoon, and, as usual, we took the carriages that rode themselves and we were soon in the Great Hall. It was great to be home, even with all those things that had just taken place on my day. The sorting Ceremony started and after all the first years had their names called, Dumbledore stepped forward and gave his beautiful big speech, which I´m not going to write here, because it was, indeed, really big. Then, the food appeared on our plates and what supposed to be a very good meal, turned out to be very bad, because I was very nervous/sad/angry (all the same time) about having to meet Potter after that. I have no idea how I´m gonna manage to survive spending all this time with him! Vernon on summer and Potter at school? My life is sad.

About an hour after, Dumbledore said it was enough eating and asked us to go to our house common room. This is when I freaked out. But I knew my responsibilities as Head Girl had to come before my hate for Potter, so I moved to the prefects and told them to line up the first years of their houses and lead them to their common room, which they did. After everyone had left the Great Hall, James and I were there, alone, not talking to each other. I thought that was pretty weird as Potter is always using these situations to ask me out, but this time he didn´t even try. He just stood there waiting for McGonagall to tell us where our dormitory was. Eventually, she came down and said: 'What a pleasure to meet you here Miss Evans! And you too, Potter. Really glad you are both Gryffindors! Now I want you to pay very close attention to what I am about to tell you: You are considered examples for the younger students, so give your best at the studying, as I am sure you both will anyway, but most important, your behavior! Yes, Mr. Potter, your behavior. I don´t want to know about any pranks this year, heard me?'

'Yes, Professor.' he said, but I knew he would do it anyway. And I have a clue McGonagall knows that too, she was just doing her job saying it.

'Great. Now, as you probably already know, your job as Head Boy and Girl is to teach the prefects everything about student's organization, so you have to arrange patrols at night to catch the students that aren´t where they should be, their dormitory.' she said. 'Every night there should be a pair of prefects making the patrols, each night from a different house. Including you too.' She said that looking deep into my eyes as if I should know that we would have to work together. Someone please tell her I know about that very well and do not like to be reminded.

'Oh… and you will have free access to the Prefects bathroom on the fifth floor and to the prefect's common room on the third floor, right next to the Library. Well, you two can go now. I´ll talk to you tomorrow more about what you should do.' Then she turned and walked out of the Great Hall.

I didn´t know what I should do, if I should talk to Potter or not. So I just turned around and started walking out of the Great Hall as well. But Potter came running behind me, screaming: 'Hey, Evans! Wait!' So I stopped.

'Are you still mad at me for having mailed your friend?' he said.

'Yes, Potter I am. Actually, I don´t even need a reason to be mad at you… It´s more the fact that you exist, if you know what I mean.' I said.

'Using my own words against me, Evans? Didn´t expect that from you.' He said.

'Well, I didn´t expect many things from you either, Potter, but you never cared at all. I guess it´s just my turn.' I said, turning away and starting to walk towards the Gryffindor common room.

'You can´t even stand walking by my side?' he said casually, walking fast to get on my side.

'I can´t stand you presence. Imagine walking by your side when I could be walking all by myself, happily.' I said.

'Wow. That hurts, Evans.' he said. 'But you will have to cope with me as we are going to spend that much time together.'

'I am still working on that. But I won´t let this get on my way with the Head duties, so… GIVE UP POTTER!' I said walking away as fast as I could and leaving him there.

'Good night, Lily.' He yelled when I was about to step on the staircase that lead to the second floor.

I stopped walking. He had never called me Lily before. Why was he so weird today? Would that have anything to do with what Alice told me earlier today? Would he had really changed?

I looked back and saw that he was with his popular smile on his face, and that really pissed me off. I mean, if he thinks I am one of those girls that fall on their knees for him only because he smiled, he is wrong. So I started to walk again towards the common room. I don´t know if Potter stayed there after that, but I didn´t hear any footsteps behind me, and he only got on Gryffindor Tower about ten minutes after I did.

Once I got here, I went to my dormitory to get my diary and then back to the common room where I´m sitting right now, in the very end of it, near one of the windows, where, by the way, is raining. That would probably kill anyone else´s mood, but not mine as I love rainy nights. Actually, it made me feel better. But the thing is: I don´t even know what I am angry about. Because Potter didn´t do anything wrong, did he? All he did was say goodbye and…my name. My first name. Maybe I´m not angry, just shocked. Like a happy-shocked. But that doesn´t mean I like Potter. I really hate him for treating people in such a disrespectful way. Well, since last term he hasn´t been that bad. The only person he still hexes all the time is Snape, and some first-years who ask him stupid questions. Yeah, he should really stop with that.

I´m really confused right now. I should probably sleep as tomorrow we´ll start having classes.

Love always,

Lily Evans


	3. The First Day

Dear Diary,

The next day was quite normal. I had to wake up earlier than usual, because McGonagall asked me and Potter to meet her on her office before Breakfast started. By the way, it was really good to wake up at Hogwarts and not at home, with that stupid pig called Vernon. That, obviously, was not the only reason I was happy. I was happy because I would start having classes that day (it might seem like a really stupid to be happy, but I love learning magic!), I would be able to talk to Alice whenever I felt like it and face-to-face, not through letters.

I got dressed in about five minutes and went down to McGonagall´s office on the first floor. Once there, I knocked at the door. Soon I heard a voice from inside saying: 'Come in!', so I entered.

McGonagall was sitting behind her desk, which was full of parchments and bewitched quills.

'Oh, yes…' She said. 'I had forgotten about you and Mr. Potter! I am sorry for the mess, Miss Evans. It´s start of term and I am still a bit lost. Well, make yourself comfortable!'

I sat on a chair in front of the desk. 'Isn´t the Head Boy here yet?' I asked casually.

'Well, Miss Evans, you of all people should know that Mr. Potter isn´t a very responsible person with time.' McGonagall said while organising some parchments in a big pile.

'Actually, Professor, he is irresponsible with everything!' I tried to sound casual, but there was something really bothering me. What did she mean by "you of all people"? Why on earth would I, of all people, know anything about Potter? Even something about his irresponsibility!

'Oh, but Miss Evans, I did not say irresponsible. I said not responsible with time. And, before you ask me, yes, there is a difference. You see, Mr. Potter is very responsible with school. He always gets top grades on most subjects.' She said.

I was about to tell her how wrong she was when I heard someone knocking on the door.

'It must be him. Come in!' McGonagall said.

James entered the office and looked at both of us. If I didn´t know him any better, I would say he was embarrassed. But he was James Potter, and he never gets embarrassed.

'Sorry, Professor.' He said while sitting down in the chair next to the one I was.

'That´s fine, Potter. Only make sure that doesn´t happen again.' She said.

'Of course.' Potter said.

'Good. Now, as I told you yesterday, the Head Boy and the Head Girl have some duties and responsibilities. Among those, make patrols. And for that reason, I asked the prefects to meet you two tonight, on the Prefect´s Common Room, to talk about how you are going to organise whose turn it is to patrol. But right now I need you to go down to the Great Hall and hand out the timetables. I think a Levitation Charm would be quite useful in this situation' McGonagall said.

So I raised my wand and said: 'Wingardium Leviosa!'. Three of the five piles were in the air and I pointed my wand at the door and the piles followed it.

Potter didn´t do anything, he only stared at me and the piles in the air. So I said irritably: 'Potter! What´s wrong? Let´s go!'

He quickly took his wand out of his robe´s pocket and did the same thing I did. The other two piles followed his wand out of McGonagall's office.

'Thank you, Professor.' I said.

'Don´t forget the meeting tonight! I told them to be there by eight o´clock.' she said as I closed the door.

I kept looking at the pile, like I was paying very close attention to it. That way, I wouldn´t have to talk to Potter. But he started a conversation anyway.

'Sorry I was late.'

'I didn´t have any hope you would make it on time. Relax, Potter, you didn´t disappoint me.' I said as through I didn´t care.

'I tried to get here before. As a matter of fact, I woke up five in the morning!'

'Really? And what exactly made you get here two hours after that? Your hair? That one must certainly take a lot of time to look so messy.' I said sarcastically.

'Of course not. I was ready by ten past five, but I couldn´t find my glasses. I had to look everywhere! Under the beds, under the trunks…but it wasn´t anywhere to be seen. I only found it when Moony woke up and helped me find it. It was under Sirius´s clothes by the way. I think he was trying to hide it. ' Potter said.

'How could you lose something so fast? We´ve been here for less than twenty-four hours!' I said.

'I know. But I am not used to unpack and I had some trouble with it. I took things out of my trunk and put them somewhere. The thing is, I could never remember where I put them. And yesterday I was trying to get this little box that mom gave me to keep my glasses on, so I wouldn´t lose them, but I lost this box as well, so I decided to put my glasses on the bedside table and today I would look up where it was, but my glasses were gone too. ' Potter said.

'This is really weird. And for God´s sake, you´re a wizard! How come you didn´t use a Summoning Charm?' I said.

'A Summoning Charm! Of course! I forgot…' he said sadly.

'I can´t believe you didn´t think of it, Potter. Honestly, you´re a seventh-year who doesn´t know how to make a simple Summoning Charm.' I said while we were going down the first floor staircase.

'I can make a Summoning Charm, I just didn´t think of it. And I don´t mean to brag, but at least I can turn rabbits into slippers with not many complications.'

'Are you really throwing at my face the one thing I cannot do?' I said.

'I´m not throwing anything at your face, Lily. All I´m doing is showing you that the same way you can do things I can´t, I can do things you can´t. I only used the fact that I am good at Transfiguration, something you do not succeed on, as an example.' Potter said.

I had, obviously, not paid any attention to what he said after 'Lily', so I changed the subject as fast as I could: 'That´s enough, Potter! Now if you could, please, hand the timetables to the students, I would be very thankful.'

We had reached the Great Hall doors, but it was so early than there were only about twenty people there.

'We´ll have to stay here until Breakfast is over?' Potter said.

'Of course. We have to give everyone their timetables.' I said as if it was the most stupid thing in the entire world and he was even more stupid for not knowing it.

'Can we at least eat then?' he said.

'How can you only think about food?' I said irritably.

'It´s not very hard to think about food when you´re in front of it. Please! No one is here yet. We won´t have to hand out this things until seven. No one wakes up here before seven anyway. ' James said.

I was actually pretty hungry and it was true, no one wakes up in Hogwarts before seven, the only people that were already in the Great Hall at that time were some excited first-years that couldn´t sleep because they were too anxious for their first classes. I know that because I´ve been on the same situation. As a matter of fact, I was so excited on my fist day that I woke up four in the morning just to make sure I didn´t forget any books or that I didn´t lose my wand or anything. Silly girl I was.

Anyway, I was starting to get hungry, and James was looking sort of ill seeing all that food and knowing he wasn´t allowed to eat it. So I decided to let him go: 'Okay. Go eat, Potter.' I said.

'Oh, thank you, Lily! You´re the best!' he said.

'Yeah, just eat…' I said. I was sort of smiling when I said that, but I didn´t know why. Smile to Potter? That doesn´t seem like me at all. I was feeling almost guilty for having smiled at him. I´m crazy. I might look normal, but I´m not. I´m completely insane. I feel guilty for smiling at people, and that can´t be normal. But… I was smiling at Potter. This is just way too weird to take in.

'Aren´t you coming?' he said, with a piece of cake already on his mouth and another on his hand.

'Oh…of course.' I was so shocked by my almost-sign-of-affection for Potter that I didn´t even realised I was standing in the middle of the Great Hall holding my wand, pointed at three piles of parchment in the air. I was probably looking ridiculous.

I sat beside him and we ate. I ate just a bit as I wasn´t that hungry, but Potter ate almost everything that was in front of us on the table. I´m not kidding. But the Great Hall was starting to get crowded, so we decided to start handing out the timetables. We only left Breakfast around ten to nine, because lessons started at nine. I right to the Transfiguration classroom because I was afraid it wouldn´t make it on time, and I didn´t want to be late on my first day. But James said he had to go back to his dormitory to get the Transfiguration book he had forgotten, so I went alone. I am not complaining by the way.

When I entered the classroom McGonagall was still organising piles and piles of parchment over her table, and James was already there. I didn´t understand how he could be there before me as he said he would go back to his dormitory. Maybe he just made that up so he wouldn´t have to come all the way with me. I really don´t understand boys, one day they ask you out at every minute of the day and on the other they lie just for not walking with you. This all very messed up. And the worst part was, I was feeling sort of sad because he had lied to me. And then, I started feeling guilty because I was sad because of something Potter had done, and it wasn´t something worth being sad for.

I sat beside Alice and she looked really excited about something: 'Tell me everything, Lily Evans! Now!'.

'What? Why are you so excited? What happened?' I said, looking rather confused. I didn´t see her on breakfast because I had that stupid timetable thing.

'Did you have breakfast with Potter? Is it true?' she said, looking hopeful at me, like if I had had breakfast with him it would have been the best thing ever.

'Yes… I think I did.' I had not realised that on Potter´s eyes, that was almost a date, even though we weren´t speaking, just eating. 'How do you know that anyway? You weren´t there when we were eating.' I said.

'Well, I didn´t need to. Firstly, you two were all friendly when I saw you on Breakfast. You were having a normal conversation, which something that had never happened before. Then, Potter comes running into the classroom looking for his friends and you come in two minutes later. That just seems really suspicious to me, Lily.' Alice said.

'What? What do you mean suspicious?'

'I mean like a plan, so no one would realise you two were together. C´mon, Lily, don´t lie to me. Yesterday you didn´t even want to talk to me because I told him you were fine, and now he asks eat with you and you just go. What happened that made you change your mind so fast? ' She said.

'Of course I don´t have anything with Potter. What do you take me for? I´m not like that! You know me better than that, Alice… at least I through you did.' I said.

'I´m sorry, okay?' She said.

'And how did you know about all this if weren´t there when we were eating? I asked her irritably.

'Potter came in and told his friends. I only heard it. I am sorry, okay? I didn´t know it would make you that upset.' She said, and she really did looked sorry.

'That´s fine. Only ask me things like that properly next time. You know things can become way bigger than what they really are in that boy´s head.' I said.

McGonagall started her lesson at that moment. And I can tell you something, as much as I was missing Hogwarts and learning magic, a never-ending class of Transfiguration was the last thing I wanted at that point.

The rest of the day was really normal. Lunch was okay too, because I sat next to Alice and her boyfriend, Frank. He´s very nice and he makes me laugh all the time. Potter was on the other side of the table with his stupid friends. He would, occasionally turn to me and smile while Sirius ate like he was about to die, Remus read a book and Peter told them something. I didn´t know what he was telling them because they were on the other side of the table, but it must have been something about how sad he is that this is their last year and they´re not gonna get to see each other next year. That guys is really friendly. Like, way too friendly. Oh, and about the smile Potter was giving me, I just pretended I was seeing. I think that worked because he stopped after a while.

The afternoon was all right as well. But on the end of the last class, Charms, I was getting sort of nervous about the meeting. I knew it would be only after dinner, but I wanted my speech to be perfect and I wanted to have everything well planned and well organised. Dinner was just like lunch, not worth describing. We left the Great Hall around half past seven, so I still had half hour until the meeting. We went to Gryffindor´s Common Room, where Frank and Alice did their homework. I was supposed to do mine too, but I couldn´t concentrate, so I gave up. Potter wasn´t there, but I was expecting him to be late anyway.

Around ten to eight, I left them to go look for the Prefect´s Common Room. I went to the Library because McGonagall told us it was near there. There were two doors next to the Library, one was locked so I figured it wasn´t there, but the other one had a painting of a young woman holding a mirror beside, which, as I knocked on the door, asked me for a password:

'I don´t have a password…But I am Head Girl. I am here for a meeting with the prefects.' I said nervously.

'You can´t come in without a password. You should be smarter if you´re Head Girl.' The woman in the painting said.

I was about to go talk to McGonagall when I heard a voice behind me saying: 'Evans! Where were you? I´ve been looking for you everywhere!' It was James. Obviously.

'I was going for the meeting with the Prefects. Or were you to busy telling lies about me to your friends to pay attention on the hour?' I said.

'What do you mean?' He said looking confused. 'Anyway, McGonagall came down on Dinner and told us the password. She asked me to tell you, but I couldn´t find you anywhere. It´s Crumpton´s Crumpets.'

'But I was on dinner.' I said.

'Were you there twenty minutes ago? Because that´s when she told us.' He said with a smirk on his face.

I didn´t answer. Instead, I looked at the painting and said the password. The door beside it burst open, and I entered, followed closely by Potter.

The room was big and very comfortable. There were many shelves filled with books of the most different types (there were even some that weren´t on the Library). Red sofas and huge cushions were spread all over the room. The curtains were also red and they stood in front little windows, that didn´t light much, so there were candles all around.

Most of the prefects were already there, chatting with their friends or reading books. I sat in one of the sofas and said: 'Hello. Well, McGonagall asked us to come and talk to you about the patrols. Basically what you have to do is walk around on at least three floors, and if you find any student out of bed, bring them to where they are supposed to be. If they resist, tell them you are going to send them to McGonagall.' I said.

'Or tell them you´re allowed to hex people. They´ll freak out and do whatever you want them to.' He said. But he soon looked at me and saw that he shouldn´t have said that. 'But of course, you shouldn´t do that. What Lily said is better. Don´t do what I said. Please.' He said nervously.

'Anyway, I´ve been thinking of ways we could use to organise whose turn it is to patrol and I think the best way to do it, is planning and writing down. Do you know what I mean?' I said as I realised everyone looked confused.

'She means we´re gonna take turns, and we´ll write on a chalkboard or something whose turn it is, so no one will forget.' Potter said.

'Humm…yes, that´s what I meant.' I was bit surprised, because I wasn´t expecting any help from Potter, even though he´s on the same position I am. He´s a Head Boy, therefore all my responsibilities, like making speeches and all that, are also his.

James took out his wand and said: '_Accio paper!_' and there was soon a paper over to where we were. Then he said: '_Accio quill!_' and a quill flied over to us the same way. He wrote PREFECT´S PATROLS and made a sort of a list with everyone´s name and the dates of the month.

'Lily and I can start tomorrow.' He said while writing my name and his on the paper. 'You guys can put your names on the dates you prefer to patrol. But remember that you gotta do it at least once a week. There´s gonna be two prefects patrolling each night, to make sure all the floors are covered.' he said.

I was really surprised by then. I mean, he said everything. I didn´t even had to open my mouth. He even through about two of us patrolling every night so all the floors would be covered. Maybe McGonagall was right, he really was responsible. Maybe even Alice was right, he really had changed.

Love always,

Lily Evans


	4. After the Meeting

Dear Diary,

After all the Prefects had put their names on the paper, I told them they could go. James and I waited everyone leave, and we were soon alone in the Prefect´s Common Room.

'I should say that I am very surprised by your performance on the meeting today, Potter.' I said coldly.

'Thank you, I can be very impressive sometimes.' He said with his popular smile that all the girls on the History on Hogwarts fell for on his face. Again, obviously, not me.

'I did not say I was impressed. After all, you only did your job.' I said.

'Yeah, but I did it pretty well. And also, for someone who only a year ago not even his job did, it was impressive.' James said.

'It wasn´t impressive. I just wasn´t expecting your help… this is why I´m surprised.' I said.

'I´ll take that as a compliment.' He said, smiling again.

'I wasn´t complimenting you. I was only saying facts.' I said angrily.

'Thank you anyway.' He said.

I didn´t say anything. Honestly, I didn´t know what to say. I mean, I was impressed, his speech was better than what mine would have been. But I was never going to say that to him. Ever. After a while of awkwardness and silence, I decided I should probably leave because I still had to do my homework: 'I´m going to the Common Room.'

'Wait, Lily!' James said before I reached the door.

'What?'

'Will you go out with me?'

'NO! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT FOR YOU UNDERSTAND?! I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU, POTTER! ' I said. Actually, I think I was screaming. I just couldn´t believe he had ruined everything being the stupid Potter he´s always been and not the new one!

I didn´t wait for an answer, I opened the door and ran as fast as I could to Gryffindor´s Common Room. I don´t even know why the hell I was running, but at the time, it seemed like I really should.

The Common Room was pretty crowded with everyone doing their homework and talking with their friends. I could even spot Alice and Frank on the same place where I had left them. I ran like crazy to the dormitory. I was probably looking really bad, because the minute I stepped there, everyone started staring at me. I didn´t care at all, though. I got in our dormitory and went hide myself under the covers. I was wishing deeply that Alice didn´t come talk to me. I really was. But she came anyway.

'What happened, Lily?' she said sweetly, sitting on my bed.

'Nothing.' I didn´t want to talk about Potter with her, because she would think I liked him. It has always been like this, every time I tell her something terrible Potter did, she says: 'Look how you talk about him. You´re completely in love, Lily. I know.' I hate when she does that.

'Is it something to do with Potter?' she said even more sweetly.

'It doesn´t matter. I don´t wanna talk about it.' I had my head under the pillow and I have no idea how she understood me. I guess that´s because we have been friends for so long that we just understand each other easily.

'Look, just tell me and I´ll leave. I promise that I´ll leave if you want me to, but tell me first.'

'Okay.' I told her how stupid Potter had been back in the Prefect´s Common Room, but she didn´t look surprised at all. 'Why are you so serious? You don´t think Potter was a jerk?'

'Oh, no, he was being a jerk. But, Lily, he´s always been a jerk. You know that very well. I think the only thing that made you angrier this time, is that you believed he had changed.' Alice said.

'You said that! You said he had changed!' I said desperately.

'Lily, he has changed, but he´s still Potter. Were you expecting him to turn into this well-behaved, polite, punctual guy in only two months of vacation? Because that kind of thing doesn´t happen!'

I didn´t say anything, I only took my head from under the pillow. When she realised I wouldn´t say anything, she decided to speak: 'Lily, just give James some time. Didn´t he prove to you today at the meeting that he´s doing some effort?' she said.

'I guess so.' I said uncertainly.

'I think you should get some rest. Tomorrow's first period is free and you can finish your homework. Now go to sleep.' Alice said getting up and walking towards the door.

I changed my clothes and sat down on my bed. Honestly, I think Alice was a bit right, no one changes completely in two months, and two days is a very short time to judge any improvement he might have had, if he had any, something that I wasn´t so sure about. I decided to sleep and not think about any of that, at least not today.

The next day was normal, so I'm not going to describe the whole thing. Only at night, after dinner had ended that Potter came to me in the Gryffindor's Common Room saying: 'Hey, Lily!' as last night had been just a dream and I hadn´t ran away and screamed at his face.

I didn´t look up, I kept doing my homework normally. So he said:

'Look, I know you might be angry with me, but we have to patrol tonight and you will have to, occasionally, look at me.' He said. I had completely forgotten about the patrol tonight. What a great surprise that was. Having to spend two whole hours with the last person you would like to talk to in the whole world.

I got up and stared to pack my things. I took them upstairs to our dormitory, in the hope that Potter would think that I was not going. I even took ten minutes more than is necessary to do that, so that when I came back, there wasn't anyone in the Common Room. But it didn't work; he was standing in front of the portrait whole waiting for me.

'Let's go?' he said.

I didn´t answer, though, I only walked past him and opened the portrait. It was desert and cold. We started walking, in silence, towards the sixth floor, and we did the same on the fifth, fourth and third floor. On the second floor, I found two second-year hufflepuffs running from Peeves. James hexed Peeves and I took the kids down to the basement, where Hefflepuff's common room is. Once they were safe inside, I went back to the second floor where James was.

'They are in the Common Room.' I said as I saw him.

'Good. We do make quite a team, don´t we, Evans?' Potter said.

'Team, Potter? Really?' I turned around and kept walking.

'Oh c'mon, Lily! I know you're mad at me because I asked you to go out with me yesterday, but I can't understand you! I used to do it all the time last year and you didn't ran away neither screamed at me for that. What happened?' he said.

'Nothing happened! I just…I… Argh, Potter! You know why I am mad at you? It´s not because you asked me out, it´s because I through you had changed! I through you were better now, that you wouldn't treat me like that!' I said. I really don't want to admit but, I was almost sobbing by then. I have no idea why, but I couldn't stop it. I don't think James realized that, though.

'What do you mean "treat you like that"?' he said confusedly.

'You know very well what I mean! Treat me as if I were one of those stupid girls that you just look at and they fall head over heels for you. I´m not like that, Potter!' I said angrily.

'I know. Of course I know that, Lily. Or do you think I would have stayed here for so long? If you were any of those girls, it wouldn't be worth it. I through you knew that.'

'Well… No, I didn't. That's the kind of thing that you should say to people…' I said.

He only grinned and started walking with that big goofy smile on his face.

'Let's go, Lily… There are still more three floors.'

We walked around the first floor, the ground floor and the dungeons in silence, but it wasn't a weird silence, it wasn't awkward at all. I don't know why but, I wasn't mad at Potter anymore. I mean, I know why: he said he knew I wasn't one of those girls. I was happy. Actually, it's been more than two hours since I came back and I am still happy. I think that's a good sign.

We went back to the Common Room and when we got to the Portrait, Potter held my arm so I couldn't walk. I through he was going to ask me out again. The thing is I wasn't so sure I would say no.

'Lily, do you think I should ask Dumbledore to give the Head Boy badge to someone else?'

'What? You're thinking about giving up?'

'I don't know. I mean, it's not that I don't like it; actually it's pretty cool, especially the part of patrolling…with you, of course. But I know you'd prefer if it was someone else and I don't want to ruin this whole Head Girl thing for you.' He said miserably.

'You're not ruining it. You're really not. Look, Potter, if you were ruining it, I would be the first to say and I'm telling you, you're only making it better.' I regretted saying this as soon as the words came out of my mouth, but Potter looked up smiling widely that I think it was sort of worth it.

'Did you know that what you just said made my night? No wait…it made my month and my year!' he said

I couldn't stop smiling, so I turned around as quickly as possible and entered the Portrait whole. Potter came after me and said:

'Goodnight, Lily. See you at breakfast.'

'Goodnight, James.' I had never called him James. I mean, here in the diary yes, but at an actual conversation no, it has always been Potter and only Potter.

He looked back stunned but merely smiled. I didn't wait to see what he did that because I started climbing the stairs to the Girl's Dormitory. Once I opened the door, Alice came hurrying in saying: 'How was it?'

'How was what?'

'Patrolling with Potter! Tell me everything, Lily!'

'There's nothing to tell. We walked around all the floors, we found two second-years being chased by Peeves and then we came back.'

'Oh, really? You're lying. That's not all that happened! I heard two voices from the Common Room. What were you talking about?'

'Nothing important. James asked me if I through he should give up being a Head Boy and I said he shouldn't.'

'Oh… so now Potter is James, uh?'

'Alice you know what you should do? Sleep and stop taking care of other people's lives.' I said grinning

'You can't even stop yourself from smiling! Someone's in love…'

'Shut up, Alice!' I said as I changed my clothes.

'Okay, I won't say anything. But, Lily, you won't be able to deny your dying love for Potter forever.'

'That's enough! Goodnight, Alice!'

'Goodnight, Lily Potter. Sorry, Evans.'

I didn't answer; I merely took a quill out of my bag, some ink and my diary. Everyone is already sleeping, I think. I don't care, though, I prefer that way. I know I'm not _in love_ with Potter, but I am starting to like him more than I did before.


	5. The Love Potion

Dear Diary,

I woke up really late the next day. Alice and everyone else had already gone to breakfast, or even to class as there were only ten minutes left till Herbology started. I dressed up really quickly and went down to the grounds because there isn't time for food when you're late. I got in the greenhouse right when Professor Sprout was telling the students they were to prepare dragon dung fertiliser. I silently got to the table that Alice was, and thankfully Professor Sprout didn't notice me. But Black did.

'Lily Evans late? I can't believe it! Even I got here on time.' he said in a low voice.

'Shut up, Black!' I muttered.

I hate that guy. I really do. But something was bothering me even more than him, why Alice didn't wake me up? It was her fault I was late. But Professor Sprout came near us when I was about to ask. I only had an opportunity when we were coming back to the castle.

'Why didn't you wake me up?'

'Oh, Lils, you were sleeping so peacefully, and I know very well that you went to sleep yesterday really late with all these 'I love Potter' thoughts on your head.'

'This is no apology for missing a class. '

'Oh, so you admit you had the 'I love Potter' thoughts.'

'No!'

'I'm just kidding, Lily! Calm down!' she said giggling.

I was so worried that anyone might hear Alice and think that she was actually saying the truth (it's true but no one needs to know) that I accidentally ran into Potter, who was going in the opposite direction.

'Oh, sorry.' he said without noticing that I was the one he had ran into.

'It's okay.' I said.

'Lily! I didn't see it was you!'

'Hi, Potter…' I said as if I was sad it was him.

'Where are you going? We have Potions in ten minutes.' Alice asked Potter.

'Oh, dear Longbottom, we are going to the Forbidden Forest.' said Black who had just come running from the castle.

'What for?' I said.

'Let's say we have to ask a favour to some friends of ours.' James said.

'Friends? What kind of friend you two have in the Forbidden Forest?' I said.

'Don't worry, Evans, it's no competition to you.' Black said and James smiled at his friend's stupid joke. I only frowned.

'We better go, Lily, or we'll miss Potions.'

'Okay. But James, you better behave yourself now that you're Head Boy.' I said in a rush. I immediately took notice of what I had just said. But Alice and I were already running to get to the castle on time when Black noticed.

'Prongs, did she just call you James? Wow, man. So much progress in a week.'

I didn't hear James answer, though. We ran as fast as we could and we were soon sitting in a very uncomfortable chair in the back of the class watching Slughorn speak about Moonstone. It was a boring class, but I really like Potions so it cheered me up a bit. Not that I was mad or anything, but I have to admit that I was a bit worried about James going into the Forbidden Forest. What was he going to do there anyway? And why is it so important? He didn't say it was but if it was worth missing a class it must have been really important. Or he just doesn't care about classes.

We only saw Black and Potter again in lunch. Their uniforms were really dirty as well as Remus's and Peter's, but I didn't ask anything. I don't think they would have answered me if I did.

The next days were fine. The patrols were a lot of fun and, honestly, I got pretty disappointed whenever I found out that I wouldn't have them. But McGonagall discovered that two Slytherin Prefects weren't patrolling when they were supposed to and asked us to patrol more frequently. Yesterday was one of these rare days where I didn't have any responsibilities after dinner. I hung out in the Common Room with Alice and Frank for a while. Later, Alice and I went up to the dormitory.

'Lily, what do you think of Frank?' Alice asked me while sitting on her bed.

'Well, I think he's cool. Why are you asking me this?' I asked.

'Well... He wants to spend Christmas at my house. He wants to know my family.'

'He knows your mom already, doesn't he?'

'Yes, but he wants to be properly introduced.'

'I'd want the same thing if I were him. You guys have been dating for almost two years now, you met his whole family last summer and everything. I think it's clear to everyone that this isn't just a fling.'

'Yeah, I guess you're right.'

'Of course I'm right. Did you forget that I am Lily Evans?' I said teasing her.

'Sure, Lily.' she said grinning. 'Now I want to hear about your relationship.'

'What? What relationship?' I asked innocently, but I obviously already knew what she was talking about.

'Oh, Lily, c'mon! I may be only joking around with you when I say that stuff, but I am still your best friend and I know.'

'Know what?'

'That you like Potter.'

'No, I don't.'

'Yes, you do. And by the way things have been going, you won't be able to hide your feelings anymore. C'mon! Just admit it.'

I took a moment to evaluate the situation. Alice was my best friend and I knew that she would keep it a secret for as long as I asked her to. Also, I really was liking Potter and, indeed, I wouldn't be able to hide this forever. I was about to tell her that I liked Potter when I tripped over something. I fell to the ground and it was only then that I realised what that was. It was Black. Sirius Black. He was under an invisibility cloak and when I stepped on him it fell to reveal Sirius on his knees carrying a bottle with a pink liquid inside.

'Black?! What are you doing here?' Alice asked when she realised what had happened.

He got up and ran out of the dormitory before we could think of stopping him. But he forgot to take the bottle with him. I picked it from the floor and opened. It smelled like ink, my potion's cauldron and the quidditch pitch. I knew very well what it was. Amortentia, the most powerful love potion ever made.

Everything started making sense for me. This is why they went into the Forbidden Forest, to get the ingredients. Sirius was trying to put the liquid on the cup of tea over my desk so I'd drink and fall in love with Potter. It was so typical of him. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. We were getting along so well and then he decides to make me fall in love with him by magic. Silly of him, he didn't need any magic to do this. But now he had crossed the line and I couldn't allow it. I got out of the room and Alice came hurrying behind me.

Potter was not in the common room, so I figured he'd be in his dormitory. I opened the door to find Remus reading a book on his bed, Peter doing his homework and James taking all his things out of his trunk and throwing them everywhere. Sirius wasn't there.

'Lily? What happened?' James asked looking surprised.

'POTTER! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? SPYING ON US? REALLY? AND TRYING AND GET ME TO DRINK A LOVE POTION?'

'I… What?' he said.

'DON'T LOOK LIKE YO DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO SENT BLACK TO MY ROOM!'

'Lily, it was not me. I swear! I didn't even know where Sirius was.' James said desperately.

'STOP LYING, POTTER! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!'

'Lily, I think you should go out there and take some air before doing or saying anything.' Remus stepped in.

He dragged me out of the room and left James there, who remained desperate and shocked. He took me to outside of the portrait whole and I started crying immediately. Don't ask me why I cried, not even I know. I think I was just disappointed at Potter.

'Lily, you have to calm down. ' he said.

I stopped crying so hard. At least I tried.

'Now, tell me what happened.' he said calmly.

And I told him everything about finding Sirius and the Love Potion, which was still in my hand. Even though Remus was one of the Marauders, he has always been very nice to me.

'Ohhhh… so that's what Sirius has been doing. It all makes sense now.'

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'He asked Peter and I to get the rose thorns and he and James got the Belladona petals. They had to steal the rose thorns, because they were so deep into the Forest that the Centaurs got involved. '

'What do you mean "got involved"?' I asked.

'I mean they tried to get them out of the Forest. But the way they did it was a bit dangerous and got them many new harms. THEY ASKED THE Centaurs to get the rose thorns first, but as they didn't let them, they took them and ran away.'

'Then I'm right. James knew it.'

'No, Lily, he didn't know the potion was for you. We all thought it was meant for someone Sirius liked.'

'You're saying that Black _fancies_ me? That's gross!' I said.

'No, I'm saying that Sirius lied to us to make the potion and help James.'

'Help James how?

'Making you like him, of course. Even if trough a Love Potion.'

I didn't say anything for a while so Remus continued:

'Look, Lily, I can assure you James didn't ask Sirius to do this.'

'How can you be sure?'

'Because he obviously wouldn't want you to like him through a potion.' he said.

'I don't know…'

Alice came out of the Portrait whole at that moment, looking for me. I figured it was better to talk to Potter only tomorrow, so I came back to the dormitory and started writing. Now that I see everything again, I think there's a tiny little chance that Remus is saying the truth and James didn't have anything to do with the potion. But I am still not sure about it so I'll wait to talk to him tomorrow before getting extremely angry or anything.

Love always,

Lily Evans.


	6. Lonely

Dear Diary,

That day, when I came to the dormitory, Potter still tried to come in, but the stairs turned into a slide again and he was left yelling: 'Lily! I didn't do anything! I swear I didn't!'. At that point, I have to say I didn't quite believe he didn't know that potion was meant for me, so I just ignored his yelling.

'Lily, why don't you just go talk to him? It won't hurt…' Alice said.

'No, I am not going there.' I replied.

'Oh, Lily. You complain so much about Potter being childish, but look at you now.' Alice said.

'I am not being childish! You don't even know if Remus really is saying the truth. Maybe he just made this story up because we found out what they were about to do before it was done! Maybe if I hadn't stepped on Black, I would now be promising eternal love to Potter!' I said.

'But James didn't know what Sirius was doing!' she said.

'I'm not thinking about that tonight. Tomorrow I'll talk to him.' I said.

'You can't just leave the boy yelling down there and don't do anything! At least tell him you're going to give him a chance to explain himself tomorrow.'

'No. I told you, I'm not going there! And don't try to make me feel guilty because you were the one who gave him false hopes when you mailed him, telling him all about my stupid summer!' I said.

'So are you going to make me feel guilty for a boy screaming your name because you're too selfish to go talk to him? I can't believe you, Lily. One day you're walking around the school smiling and laughing at his jokes and the other you say you hate him completely? This is stupid. You wanna know what? Don't go talk to him. Don't give him false hopes just like I did.' Alice said. She went to her bed and laid down, facing the wall.

I was so mad at her. I mean, how could she leave me alone when I most needed a friend? How could she be talk about selfishness when she was being that selfish? But I was determined to not go talk to Potter, so I did the same thing she did: Laid on my bed and closed my eyes. I wanted to sleep, to stop listening to Potter yelling, but at this very moment, Rose and Jennifer, our dormmates, came in. I pretended to be sleeping so they didn't talk to me, but I could still hear their whispers.

'What d'you reckon Potter did?' asked Jennifer.

'Oh, I don't know. Probably just asked her out again.' answered Rose.

'Nahh, I think this time it's something bigger.' Jennifer said.

'Maybe he proposed to her!' Rose said, and they both burst out laughing immediately.

The worst part is that I know Potter is crazy enough to do that. Thank God I fell asleep shortly after that, because I think if I had heard more of Potter's yelling or the girls' guesses of what he had done, I would have freaked out. I'm not kidding.

I woke up the next day to find the sun rising in the sky. I was really glad I had woken up early, because I didn't want to talk to Alice. I left the dormitory and went to the Common Room. Potter was sleeping in one the couches, but I didn't wake him up, because I didn't want to talk to him either. I mean, not just yet. So, I climbed the portrait hole and went down the stairs. The Great Hall doors were still closed, so I went past it and kept walking. But there was this one classroom on the other side of the Entrance Hall that caught my eye. It was the only open door and I could hear someone whispering inside. I came closer and looked. It was a very small room with no windows, only three wooden chairs facing a desk. A dark haired boy was sitting in the middle chair and holding a book with a wand pointed at it while saying something that I could not understand.

'Severus?' I asked astonished.

He didn't answer me, but I was sure that was him.

'Severus, is that you?' I asked again.

'Lily?' He said in a very low voice, almost a whisper. Weird thing was: he sounded frightened.

'What are you doing?' I asked

'Nothing, I was just studying.'

'_Lumos!' _As soon the lightning spell was casted, Severus put the book he was reading behind his back.

'Why are you studying in here?' I said.

'I… I wanted a quiet place.'

'Why didn't you just go to your Common Room then?'

'Never mind that, Lily. Why are you up so early, anyway?'

'I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd come down and eat something, but I guess it's a bit too early for Breakfast.' I said as I sat down next to him.

'I heard about Potter.'

'What about Potter?'

'You know very well, Lily. I heard that he tried to poison you.'

'It wasn't actually poisoning, it was just a love potion. And it wasn't even him, it was Black.'

'Don't be silly, Lily. Of course it was Potter! This is so typical of him, doing stupid things and blaming the others for them.'

'But it wasn't Potter who told me it hadn't been him, in the first place.'

'Of course not, it would have been too obvious that way. But I bet it was one of his friends, right?'

'Yes, it was Remus.'

'Don't you realise, Lily? James must have told his friends to tell you this story.'

'I don't think he would have done something like this. I mean, he was being so nice to me.'

'Because that way he wouldn't have to make such a powerful potion. Making someone that already likes you love you is way easier than making someone that hates you love you. It was all a plan.'

'I don't know…But I don't want to talk about this anymore. What about you? What were you studying?'

'Nothing important, just some spells.'

'Let me see the book then.'

'No. It's fine I don't need help.' he said while taking the book from behind his back and holding it closer.

'I know, but I want to check it out, can I?'

'No, really you don't need to do this.'

I took the book from his hand and opened it. It really was a book of spells, but then why was he hiding it?

'Well, this is just an average book, why were you hiding it?'

'I wasn't hiding it, Lily. Now that you've seen that I am not lying, give me back my book!'

'Wait a second…' I had just realised that there was a name written at the bottom of the first page: James Potter.

'This book isn't yours. This is James's spells book. Why do you have it?'

'I lost mine, so I borrowed his.'

'You're lying. Why would you take James's book out of all people?'

'Because-'

'And you were whispering something when I came in.'

'I was practising, Lily, that's all.'

'No, you weren't! You were doing something to his book!'

'Lily, I wasn't doing-'

'Stop lying, Severus!'

'I…Okay. Yes, I was cursing his book. But, he poisoned you! I was only revenging it!'

'What? Do you think someone doing something wrongs gives you the right to do something wrong too?'

'No, but I-'

'How did you even get his book? Did you steal it?'

'Let's just say I'll have to teach potions to a fat fourth year for three months for that book.'

'I can't believe this! What was this book even supposed to do to Potter?'

'It would make him have nightmares. It was a nightmare curse.'

'A nightmare curse? For what I know it doesn't only make you have nightmares, it makes you unable to sleep because of the terrible dreams.'

'Well, it only does that if it's really powerful.'

'Severus, I know you. You wouldn't have lost the opportunity to make Potter go crazy without sleep.'

'I'm sorry, Lily! But I couldn't let him do this to you and not do anything.'

'This is no excuse.' I said as I stormed out of the room.

How could he do this to me? I mean, to Potter. All I wanted was to talk to Alice and tell her all about Snape and hear her saying back to me: 'I've never liked this boy.' But I knew that this was not going to happen seeing that she was so mad at me. Who else could I tell this? No one.

I saw that the Great Hall doors were open and that the Breakfast had started, even though there were only four or five people in there. I stayed there for quite a long time. I was thinking about what Potter would say about the Potion. I had to admit that Snape's theory about the whole story that Remus had told me being just a lie was not that impossible. After all, they're the Marauders, known to mess around with people. Maybe Snape was right. But I said that would give Potter a chance to explain today, and I will keep my word.

I went to Gryffindor's Common Room and found Potter sitting on a chair, with his hands over his head.

'Potter, are you alright?' I asked.

The moment I said this, he jumped out of the chair and said:

'Lily, that was not me. I did not make that potion. You know I wouldn't have done that to you.'

'The guy that has been asking me every single day for the last four years if I'd go out with him, wouldn't give me a Love Potion.'

'Well, you've got a point. But still, Lily! I wouldn't want you to like me because of a Potion! And I wouldn't want you to like me just for a week!'

'And what about Black? What was he doing in my bedroom then?'

'He was trying to give you the potion, but I didn't know. We helped him, but Remus told you that we thought it was for someone that he liked, not you!'

'Sirius Black using a potion to get a girl? Yeah, right…'

'What are you trying to say?'

'I don't mean me, Potter. Are you jealous of me? With Black? Get over yourself, Potter, honestly.'

'I'm sorry.'

'For the potion?'

'I can't apologise for something I didn't do.'

'Can you at least prove that it wasn't you?'

'No, of course I can't. You have to believe me, Lily. That's the only proof I have, my word.'

I could not lie. I didn't believe. Everything was showing me that it had been him. It would make complete sense to be him. How could I say that it wasn't?

'I don't believe.'

'You don't?'

'No.'

'But, Lily… I gave you my word. I would never lie to you.'

'Can you prove?'

'I can bring Sirius here and he can tell you that I didn't have anything to do with it.'

'Sirius? What if he was lying too?'

'But I am not lying! Believe me, Lily!'

'I don't! I don't believe you! I think it was you! I think you knew that potion was for me!'

'You are being very unfair.'

'No, I'm not.'

I ran out of the Common Room and went to the Transfiguration classroom, our first class. McGonagall was writing something and didn't even notice when I came in. Soon, James and his friends arrived and sat way behind me. I did not talk to them, obviously. Alice and Frank got there a few minutes later. They didn't look at my face, it was as if I weren't there. I was feeling so bad, so lonely.

Love,

Lily Evans.


End file.
